Friday, July 20, 2007
do u know tt im sad? GOD i wanna see u face to face right now?? ytd to today... cried a lot... wanna cry now also nth come out! GOD comfort me right now... ytd i nv went CG... i think everybody viewed me very badly... not bcos i dont want to go... i tell my mummy tt i really nid to go out... she says if u dare to step out of the hse today... don get allowance from me and u can dont come home even...i tell her mummy im sorry... then i run out of the hse... i run by stairs... then she chased down... i think i havent recovered yet... so just slipped from a few steps of the stairs... then cont' running... my vision went blurred, i just step into the road... nearly knocked down by the incoming bicycle... thank GOD it only went pass my last toe... it bleeds and my mummy manage to catch up with me...
she bring me back home and clean up the blood... and put plaster on it... i sms my CL tt i cant go... im tearing but i know she don know... my parents don allowed me to go cos of what happen and the fact tt im supposed to be quarantined for one day at home....
my UL called at 6.10pm... i told her im sick and nid to be at home... she just ok lor... take care bb! i told my shpd tt im sick... she says u must know how to take care of yrself... my CL nv replied me... she is having exams... then after tt she just say ok... if got choice... how would i ever choose i wanna be sick? GOD! i think only RUTH and GOD understand! i feel like crying again... i rmb those times tt im sick... my ex-CG gives hospital/house visitation!
even tt im sick... tt time i just discharged from hospital... i straightaway take taxi... head down for CG! i love fellowship a lot... how would i ever missed CG unneccessarily neh? i hope my unit member can really understand me... they can dont show concern but pls don treat me this way can? im heart-broken... i nv cried so badly for months le!
my UL still nv replied my sms... i apologised le... i think she is very angry... GOD help me! i don wanna be like tt swayed by emotions... i know i have clear conscience... i hope they can read it and really understand how i feel... sick alr very terrible le... plus a stab i really cant describe the inmost hurt tt im experiencing...
GOD heal me emotionally and physically! i know you will! cos u understand me the most! i love U LORD! ytd the CG times... i use it to honour U... worship... pray... praise and spend time with U for tt 3 hrs in my room... i know U honour tt! and my room is filled with spiritual atmosphere and YR PRESENCE yeah... thank GOD for speaking to me.... now i feel i very dumb la... why cry cos of worldly things? only u are worthy of my tears! yeah yeah... thank GOD... even typing this entry... u comforted me again! GOD u are truly great... there's no one like U! praise U in Heaven! I've been paid for in FULL 9:51 AM